Tainted Happiness

Tainted Happiness
Haunted by memories of misery
Will it ever stop hurting?
Will trust come without doubt?
Will joy come without fear?
Will peace come without sleep?
I want to die, but I wish to live
To continue on and hold something more
But the wounds hinder and paralyze
The scars mark me
The memories won't go away
I want to forget
I want to be healed
But how long will that take?
How long will it be before I can be glad
To be alive again?
I want happiness, but this world is painful
It shuns me and leaves no place
Places I find are taken away
Leaving me worse
Than if I had never known what it was to belong
What will I do?
Now that I've become strong
I could endure it if I tried
But to live without what I know now
Would not be a life worth living

So I pray
That this world will hold strong
And that for once it would exist
Without collapsing beneath me
Please don't collapse
What I ask isn't much
Don't fade or become corrupt
Just remain
And I'll be okay.